Are You Ready For Me Yet?

So... I've had this blog set up for a long time now without a single post on it.  Each time I pull up any of the other blogs I work on, this blog title stares at me, almost as if it's asking, "Are you ready for me yet?" The answer has been NO.  To be perfectly honest, the answer is still NO in many parts of my head and heart, but I just know that I need to.

In my Bible study, we are reading a book called Love Does by Bob Goff.  Although I'm not finished reading it yet, there are many, many parts that speak to me and pull at my heart.  From my reading this morning, "One of the reasons our life with God gets stagnant is because we stop taking Jesus' invitation to live risky, courageous lives.  We stop trying to do the things Jesus calls us to because they seem too scary." When I read these words, I know exactly what it meant for me.  That's why I'm here, writing this post.  I want to live with courage in spite of the fear.

What is the fear?  Vulnerability.  I know there are people out there who make assumptions about me, about us as a couple, and misunderstand our intent and motivation for sharing parts of the journey. Some of them even say mean things.  It's hard to stand up if you know people are going to point their fingers at you. Really hard. I don't want to live a life in fear of what other people think. So, here I am.

Roger and I have known for almost 4 years that we have a calling to share our story. Why our story?  Why is it worthy of sharing? I don't totally have the answers there.  We just know that we're supposed to put it out there to encourage couples in their journeys to stay in love and to stay together.

There was a time in our marriage when everything felt broken.  Saying it was a "tough time" or a "rough patch" seems like some politically correct statement that comes a far cry short from describing the heart break, sleep deprivation, total overwhelm, and fatigue of that time in our lives.  We realized the foundation of everything was crumbled, compromised, and in need of a major remodel... oh yeah, and we were emotionally broke. We didn't know where to begin.  We were so incredibly devastated and in over-our-heads.  We wished we had known more people that we could have turned to for encouragement in our marriage.

It runs a parallel theme to when we had a miscarriage.  People hold that experience so close and suffer in silence.  Yet, so many others go through the same experience and feel alone at a time when support would be so helpful.  I really have wondered why this is?  Regardless, it is something that happens to 1 in 3 women, yet when it happens to you, you feel like you are one of the only people in the world that has had to go through this.  Struggles in marriages are the same.  But rather than 1 in 3, it's...well... everyone.

So here I am.  And because I'm here, of course we're here.

We don't have answers.  We screw up all the time. But good news is we work our tails off at being good to and for each other.  And believe it or not, after 20 years together and 17 years of marriage we're more in love and happier than we've ever been.  I'm proud of that.  We're proud of that.

We're taking the risk to put our story out "here" to tell anyone who's interested that rebuilding better and stronger is possible.  It's the best thing that has ever happened to our marriage.

We've also never worked harder at anything.

We want to use this blog to share what we're working on, what we're thinking about, the books we're reading, what we're learning, what's working and what's not.  We'll both write because we believe in the power of hearing both perspectives.  And since we're both writing, we'll share funny stuff too - thanks to Rog. :)  We also hope you'll share too.  We're always inspired by great ideas/books/stories/strategies that people have shared with us and been brave enough to put out "here" too.  We're even more moved by stories of perseverance through struggles. We plan to ask some of those brave people to write posts for this blog.

A great marriage is anything but easy... just so incredibly worth it.

JUMP!  (That's the leap of faith we just took!)